Psychology and hairdressing

Psychology and hairdressing

I’ve often asked myself how would it be to work with the public in professions such as hairdresser, physiotherapist, beautician.

I was asking myself this because the cultivate experiencial psychology, made on the field. How many life’s fragments and stories sit on those comfortable (almost always) chairs? How many insights happen during a “cut”? Continue reading

Enneagram

Enneagram

 

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Essendo io stesso alla ricerca del mio enneatipo ed avendo compagni di viaggio, questa pagina sarà sempre in costruzione, con nuove informazioni, esperienze e riflessioni personali che mi va di condividere con chi incappa in questo mio spazio.
l’Enneagramma è uno studio sul carattere, iniziato dai Sufi millenni fa e riscoperto da Ichazo e Naranjo in questo secolo. La Gestalt lo usa come strumento di consapevolezza.
Ci sono tre macro aree di caratteri: pensiero, azione e sentimento, a ciascuna area appartegono
tre caratteri, in totale, quindi, nove (ennea).
Nei caratteri si individuano una passione predominante ed una virtù. In realtà tutti i caratteri sono presenti in noi, uno diciamo che è preponderante. Attraverso l’individuazione del proprio enneatipo si può vedere i propri “scivoloni” e cercare di arginarli prima che diventino un fiume in piena.
Per esperienza personale sono convinto che per l’enneagramma, così come per tutti i tipi di test, bisogna stare molto attenti a non etichettare, o etichettarsi, in cerca della bacchetta magica per la guarigione, la felicità o la serenità.
Semplicemente non esiste, la ricerca è dura ma paga, ci sono pause e mi accorgo via via che vivo, lavoro, amo, che durerà davvero tutta la vita. E’ una Scelta.

La difficoltà dell’enneagrama è che spesso la nostra esagerazione non vuole farsi riconoscere anche perchè ci siamo profondamente attaccati. Il carattere è una coazione  a ripetere ma anche una specializzazione. Siamo tutti orgogliosi delle nostre nevrosi…

E’ come se dentro di noi ci fossero delle funzioni (9), ed una fosse esagerata. prima della nascita siamo una cosa sola con la mamma, il legame, da cui poi “scaturisce” il carattere, inizia dopo la nascita. Il legame primario ha due facce, una luminosa ed un altra più ombrosa, che poi è legata agli stili di attaccamento. Si possono mettere le varie parti ombrose in tre macrocategorie: disillusione, diffidenza e risentimento.

il percorso che delinea l’enneagramma è teso non a levare uno dei tre lati (che comunque abbiamo tutti), ma ad equilibrarli tra loro.

E ancora una volta torna il messaggio che scirve anche Kopp dove non c’è bacchetta magica, ma solo ricerca  personale, faticosa e  che sembra spesso più forte di noi.

EMDR

EMDR

I took this training in order to have an additional tool, and I am very enthusiastic about it. EMDR is an acronym and it stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, what does that mean?

It means that throughout the eyes’ bilateral movement (following therapist’s fingers), sensoriel (tapping), auditive (fingers snapping in ears’ proximity), we can achieve well-being. How? It seems that the bilateral stimulation carries on to the hemispherical integration, thus the integration between emotions and thoughts. What use is this to us? In my understanding it serve the purpose of depotentiating certain disturbing emotions bound to certain episodes, in order to what is a black hole, can become a black dot, beside which I go without even noticing (almost). I’ve experienced it myself, and it works. It’s no magic, It’s APA approved and there are hundreds of studies proving it. Moreover is very useful when there are negative beliefs about oneself (who hasn’t one of those?).

It took me a long time to take the resolution to train myself  because it seems from afar like a recipe, trendy, THE truth. I don’t love truths or trend. Then, as it happens, a friend underwent a training and persuaded me to do it. I am happy he’d done it and that I’ve listened to him, miracles don’t exist and EMDR is very powerful. It’s wise and ethical that the EMDR treatment is practiced within a wider therapy context. Exactly as a test can’t tell you who you are, EMDR can’t heal you on its own. This is why I give it to my patients if it’s the case.

 

Family Constellations

Family Constellations

After living several times the experience of receiving a family constellation, I decided that I wanted to be  trained as a constellator. Many of you might already have heard about them, and on google we can find anything about it. As it happens I am in trouble putting into words what is experience, I will try. Nothing seems as mystical as family constellation, but, as a matter of fact, there nothing esoteric. They are based on one of the first (and few) laws of psychology, by Kurt Lewin, end of 19th century. The field law. It says basically that within a group of people there’s an energy. This is how the family constellation work and what insight they could give us.
It is a method to explore the unconscious , to represent it tridimensionally in the space. So no god or angels showing us anything but the energy that I move with my intimate representation.
The work with family constellations suits anybody who is interested to recognize and solve those dynamics
that produce negative effects and are related to family members. Family can be the origin one, read the one made of parents and siblings, or the actual one, namely the one built up with a partner and one’s children, natural or adopted.

Why family? because it is exactly in the family that we move our first steps under any point of view. It is within the family that we learn our role, our position.To use  family constellations as a tool means to represent one’s family in order to solve a personal problem, get over a difficulty or make a wish come true. 

Our capability to relax in what we really are and live up to our potential, is strongly affected by the place that we occupy within our family of origin or in our actual family. For love’s sake and for the need of belonging often we take a place that is not ours in our family system. We take over our shoulders feelings that don’t belong to us, or we replace someone who has been excluded by the system . In so doing we burden ourselves with their weights and we follow a destiny that is not ours.

Through the dramatisation (although is not exactly it) we can see in front of us a part of our interior world bound to the family. Family reality shows itself with its true colors, letting emerge hidden  or forgotten truths  , ancient secrets and past dynamics that bond us to painful dynamics belonging to family members who have suffered in the past.

With the family constellation tool we can perceive and comprehend, without judgment, why we are not dully pursuing our fate and our existential task.

A colleague and friend of mine gave this very interesting definition:

“To belong is a radical human being’s need. As children we bond tenaciously to the group in which we are born (family), this is necessary for our own survival, without taking into account the family’s actual capabilities to care and nourish. We take for granted as positives our system’s values and habits, and we become faithful and loyal. This loyalty can be so blind to sacrifice our happiness in a desperate effort to maintain a certain equilibrium. To recognize the way in which we are faithsul to our system is the beginning of a journey that allows us to grow and opens up the possibility to be happy and thrive”

the video that follows is in italian, I apologize for that, I am posting it here in case you do understand some. You’re more than welcome to ask any information.

NEXT FAMILY CONSTELLATION SEMINAR IS GONNA BE HELD IN FLORENCE ON SUNDAY, JANUARY 20TH, 2019 c/o LE CURANDAIE, VIA CIRILLO 2L

 

 

Gestalt psychology

Gestalt psychology

In a website homepage  there should be a practitioner’s  charming description. I am a psychotherapist and I accompany people for some beats of their lives.  I can’t and maybe I don’t want to charm , I want people to choose to equip themselves with tools in order to do things differently or to see from other perspectives, but those they always have been using.

My model, Gestalt psychology, is experiencial and I find it difficult to describe with words. In this approach we do things and we train , as if it was a secure gym where we can train to see and practice other ways than the ones we’re used to. It is also existential, read it faces every day’s issues as a whole, which is the puzzle of one’s attitude toward life. All of this is simple and very complex at the same time , for sure is fascinating. Below you will find a definition that I found years ago (not mine) and that I liked at first sight. It reminds me of riding a motorbike on a curvy road.

This is what gestalt therapy is like.

“The therapist’s ability to create an environment in which the patient can develop his/her integrity, it happens thoughout a dance between therapist and patient. It is not a tecnique used by a practitioner on another person who is asking for help, is the co-construction  of a contact border on which values, personality, personal ways to cope with life play a fundamental role. It is the dance that the therapist, with all his science and humanity, and the patient, with all his pain and will to heal, create in order to rebuild the grounf on which lay relations’ life, the sense of sefety within the ground and the other, and therefore letting oneself go into intimacy”

 

 

SESSIONS IN ENGLISH – SÈANCES EN FRANÇAIS

 

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