Family Constellations

20 Jan Family Constellations

After living several times the experience of receiving a family constellation, I decided that I wanted to be  trained as a constellator. Many of you might already have heard about them, and on google we can find anything about it. As it happens I am in trouble putting into words what is experience, I will try. Nothing seems as mystical as family constellation, but, as a matter of fact, there nothing esoteric. They are based on one of the first (and few) laws of psychology, by Kurt Lewin, end of 19th century. The field law. It says basically that within a group of people there’s an energy. This is how the family constellation work and what insight they could give us.
It is a method to explore the unconscious , to represent it tridimensionally in the space. So no god or angels showing us anything but the energy that I move with my intimate representation.
The work with family constellations suits anybody who is interested to recognize and solve those dynamics
that produce negative effects and are related to family members. Family can be the origin one, read the one made of parents and siblings, or the actual one, namely the one built up with a partner and one’s children, natural or adopted.

Why family? because it is exactly in the family that we move our first steps under any point of view. It is within the family that we learn our role, our position.To use  family constellations as a tool means to represent one’s family in order to solve a personal problem, get over a difficulty or make a wish come true. 

Our capability to relax in what we really are and live up to our potential, is strongly affected by the place that we occupy within our family of origin or in our actual family. For love’s sake and for the need of belonging often we take a place that is not ours in our family system. We take over our shoulders feelings that don’t belong to us, or we replace someone who has been excluded by the system . In so doing we burden ourselves with their weights and we follow a destiny that is not ours.

Through the dramatisation (although is not exactly it) we can see in front of us a part of our interior world bound to the family. Family reality shows itself with its true colors, letting emerge hidden  or forgotten truths  , ancient secrets and past dynamics that bond us to painful dynamics belonging to family members who have suffered in the past.

With the family constellation tool we can perceive and comprehend, without judgment, why we are not dully pursuing our fate and our existential task.

A colleague and friend of mine gave this very interesting definition:

“To belong is a radical human being’s need. As children we bond tenaciously to the group in which we are born (family), this is necessary for our own survival, without taking into account the family’s actual capabilities to care and nourish. We take for granted as positives our system’s values and habits, and we become faithful and loyal. This loyalty can be so blind to sacrifice our happiness in a desperate effort to maintain a certain equilibrium. To recognize the way in which we are faithsul to our system is the beginning of a journey that allows us to grow and opens up the possibility to be happy and thrive”

the video that follows is in italian, I apologize for that, I am posting it here in case you do understand some. You’re more than welcome to ask any information.