20 Jan What did I store away and where
How did you get fat?
Not a poor eating habit, or a lack of physical exercise provoked your additional kilograms. What made you fat is.
We experience and express with unconscious impulses fear, feeling of abandonment, lack of love, self-diminishing, vulnerability, and we act it with poor and unhealthy eating habits…fat is the physical outcome of your need to put a distance between you and other, it has been a rampart to protect you, a barrier that you have created…it will go away when the inner child who inhabit your adult body, who has grown throughout fat to be recognised and protected by the adult, will finally realize that fear belong to the past and that he is finally safe…
What this piece is about is fat. I am particularly grateful to the colleague who wrote it (I couldn’t find the name), because is as personal as an issue can get: body fat
I am a gourmand, of life, food, relationships, everything. This corresponds with an intensity of mine, of my being a load, and always have been considered as such.
At one point in my life, I couldn’t stand any more to look at myself in the mirror, I had a big barrier between me and the world. I did a diet and lost 24 kg in 4 months, it ended with stones in my kidneys. I begun to run, running became running and swimming, and after that running, swimming, cycling.
Today I feel reasonably slim, the phantom of overweight will never leave me, and sport became a soul necessity:
I am writing about this because I came to realize, very late, that it was about an actual armor. A layer that had its own purpose and meaning. It was there to better put up with beatings and to put others to a distance that felt right.
A lot of anaesthesia, a real load. AS I probably already wrote in other articles, we are all, in various shapes and shades, anaesthetised. Cigarettes, Alcohol, legal cannabis, food.
Anaesthesia serves the purpose of not feeling, to be as far as possible from our centre (and balance).
To find one’s own centre is not a chimera, or an exotic creature that belongs to another dimension, centre is ours, or it can be ours if we are brave enough to strive for it. To be centred